Turkey Day and other stuff

I made eggnog cake and pepper-chive biscuits... played "Mario Galaxy" with some kid who came over to our house... beat "Chip and Dale" and "Little Nemo" for the NES in one sitting... and I ate food. It was pretty cool. Plus, it was a nice little break from school before the big break.

Interview with Buckle went well, however, I haven't received a response back, so I'm going to call them tomorrow... I wasn't going to call today since it is Black Friday. My interview with Hollister was nothing shy of stupid. I was part of a group interview, and by group I mean twelve other girls and one guy who had a vocabulary limited to the words "like," "outgoing," "fun-loving," "laid-back," and so forth. Seriously, every question asking them about why they would be fit for the job consisted of those very words. I felt so out of place because I was wearing dress clothes for an interview and the rest of them were in street clothes... I have a feeling I'm not going to get that one.

Next week I have an interview with Macy's. I'm also going to put my application in at Olive Garden and Silver City Brewery. I think I'd be fine at the Brewery because it's a successful mom and pop kind of restaurant. It actually looks nice... I'm even considering going by the bowling alley to see if they're hiring in the restaurant or the actual bowling alley. Maybe even the bar area. I know how to mix basic drinks and I know how to pour tap beer.

So goes the job hunt... I'm not in too bad of shape considering I've only been half jobless for only a week.

Oh. My. God. So much goddamn DBZ. Alex got the Cell Games season in from the mail and we watched the whole damn thing. It has totally put us in a mood... I need to go unearth by Android 17/18 doujinshi... I have no clue where they are -.- But yeah, Cell Games... 685 minutes. I don't know, DBZ brings up a lot of awkward memories of me being a total putz back in high school, so I think what I'm trying to do is reassociate DBZ to new memories. I knew I wouldn't have been able to make fart jokes about the show a long time ago because I thought it would "anger the characters if I said it"... it's really wierd embarassing things like that that I want to try to push out when I want to watch any of the old stuff I used to treat as sacred.

And jeez! God forbid if I EVER said anything negative about Android 17 a long time ago! I am so freaking happy I have gotten myself laid since then... or else I'd be stuck with the same stupid problems. I bet Android 17 gets laid by thousands of women. Beautiful women! Rich women! Even mediocre ones that make him feel good about himself, though he finds himself leaping from the window the next morning, because let's face it; these women have baggage! If I was Android 17, that's what I'd do. I feel like I'm getting into some bad territory here. But jee, it's what I'd do.

On another note, would you believe I would used to hold farts in when my favorite characters appeared? It was like I would be dishonoring them by doing it... now I just fart, fart, fart away. I know a lot of people probably had just as many embarassing moments when they were in high school, but I am so terribly self conscious about mine... maybe I should turn this stuff into a comedy routine... or a book.

Anywho, bakery tomorrow morning. Need to be up bright and early before the sun.

Higgins is... a Bassador?

That is not an actual picture of Higgins, but a striking resemblance! I was dinking around looking at dog breeds today on the net (I really want a King Charles Spaniel... but they have too many heart problems) and I was like, "I wonder what Higgins is." I mean really? What is he? For a while we thought Corgi Mix, but I really don't think so... so I was looking through all the short legged dogs and found that a basset hound is very popular when breeding into other dogs because of its legs.

Anyways, I hope Alex sees it. We were always scratching our heads wondering...

In other news, I met with my boss, Sis, because she wanted to speak with me about I guess the outburst I had the other day. Essentially showing me what I already knew (we aren't making any money at the restaurant, blah, blah, blah) and that I should promptly apologize to Donna for acting up about my loss of hours. Basically she went through a list of all that I should be thankful for to Donna, WHICH I AM, including, but not limited to, Donna putting me back on the schedule after I came back from Portland wanting to work there again! That was over a year ago! So of course, after being lectured, I went home crying because I felt guilty and was pissed off that I was guilty when nothing was my fault. I was pissed that Donna even brought it up to Sis after this happened!

Until....

I get this voice mail from Alex. Yesterday after I got home from meeting with Sis I did go and apologize to Donna for storming out and whatnot... and Donna had called Alex today asking if I was okay. I was personally worried that both her and Katie were irreversibly upset with me. Donna told Alex that she had went to Sis requesting that some of her hours be given to either myself or Melissa... that's it. She probably mentioned that I was extremely upset about it and was frustrated... and that was it. Sis basically lectured me and got me to tell her the whole story because I thought she knew the whole story. Why would she call me about it asking if I could meet with her? Ugh!!! She did it again! I knew something had to be up! I should have known Donna didn't go and tattle about a conflict between both of us! I am so glad I don't work for Sis anymore after tomorrow! I hope this is a clear message for Donna as well that she should find a different workplace...

However, I don't even freaking care. I have an interview at Buckle tomorrow in the mall and I will probably have an interview at Hollister as well. Then I will take Ruth's advice in case both of those interviews don't land me a job and go to the IMA at school. Also, Amanda may be giving me some graveyard shift hours at the bakery... I'm not in such a rough spot as I thought that I was... so... yeah.

Higgins is a Bassador.

Quitting

Okay, so I had a lengthy and disheartening argument with Alex's mother and sister about the restaurant in which all three of us work at. I think I realized this once I found that Katie (Alex's sister) has more hours than me and is receiving payment illegally (under the table and such) On top of that, I realize that I'm the only one in the house that's playing by the rules. Alex's mother is getting a substantial amount of money under the table. I understand that labor costs are high in Manchester. Fuck that. I am not going to be phased out, I am quitting while I am ahead. As of last night, I am no longer a member of the Manchester chain gang. Fuck it. There are plenty of places that will take me as an employee. They don't deserve my notice. I have been there nearly 4 years and I am being squeezed out of the schedule week by week. And why? Because I'm actually being paid legally.

In other news... I have no clue as to how well I did on the Space exam. I know I aced the Japanese Literature one. In a way, I almost don't care because the Space class is unnecessary . I know it will probably deal a blow towards my GPA, but that's nothing I can't fix over the next couple of quarters. In fact, I bet if I bitched enough, I could get it wiped from my record. Anyways, I'm sort of glad that the quarter is coming to a close. I'm anxious for X-Mas break. I just hope to find work.

I told myself, "Don't quit until you find a better job." But what's the point? My last paycheck was 148 dollars. And now that they've snipped another day from me, I'll only be making close to 100 dollars. And this is every two weeks, mind you. So yeah, I'm not going to waste my time.

I just need to find something soon. I have car payments to pay along with a few credit card bills. Granted, my credit card bills aren't very high, but I need to have something to make more than the minimum payments. Anyways, today I am going to go look around hotels for front desk positions. There are quite a few in Seattle open, but maybe something closer to home would be better. I don't know. I looked on craigslist today and felt incredibly hopeful... as opposed to how helpless I felt last night.

Seriously, I have never had Donna or Katie so genuinely mad at me. But who wouldn't be upset that they're losing their job? A job they have worked at for nearly four years, offering their days off to come in for people who are under the weather, offering to come in off the clock and make sure everything is running smoothly. I feel absolutely jipped. I know I should have found something before winter hit, but as far as I was informed, everyone would be getting a cut in their hours. Instead, three out of the four waitresses are being completely cut.

At any rate, I keep telling myself that I will be out of school next fall. I will finally be able to hold my bachelor's in my hand and kiss minimum wage working good-bye. Hopefully. I am really hoping.

No Tuesday! Back the fuck off!

Okay... so I have two tests to study for tomorrow and I actually got about half of what I was supposed to have finished done Sunday (that's a first for me... ) I just don't want to do the stupid Space Travel test. I'm fine with the Japanese Lit, that's fine, that's easy, but this other one is a pain in the asshole. It's a 102 class, and the tests are too freaking hard. Anyways, I can see myself failing that class, but I should be okay with my quarterly GPA that my financial aid won't be taken away.

Still on the prowl for a new job. I'm probably going to ditch the restaurant altogether. No, make that definitely. I will keep the bakery job because my employer actually told me how much she appreciated me and all that I do. And I've only been at the bakery for 7 months. My boss at the Family Inn, outside of maybe a letter of recommendation, has never said anything so sincere in the 3+ years I have worked for her. On top of that, my hours there have been slashed down to a third. Labor is apparently too expensive, but I HIGHLY doubt that my boss is poor. She lives in a PRIVATE SPOT IN THE WOODS in a LARGE HOUSE with LARGE TELEVISIONS and a PUREBRED GERMAN SHORT-HAIRED POINTER which she takes to DOG SHOWS and she drives a BRAND NEW SUBARU... she's not poor. And if she's in debt, fuck her. She's put herself there. The problems with the restaurant greatly stem from her lack of management and her own alcoholism. I can't wait till' that place shuts down for good. I know it will, and if it doesn't I'll know that she'll be miserable from money problems. Having lots of money means more money problems. I sincerely hope that she is yanked down to my level and has to get rid of her luxuries and realizes what it truly feels like to live paycheck to paycheck.

At any rate, I'm hoping for the Albertson's job... or maybe even Safeway. I have yet to experience the grocery store field. I'll probably hate it, but whatever. I'm also hoping for the Best Buy job just so that it's closer to where I want to move to.

This money crunch is difficult because I'm addicted to spending money and eating out all of the time. It's maddening. I want to make lunches for myself, but I feel that everything I make is disgusting. Aside from baking I guess. Actual lunch and dinner food, I can't do it. It always tastes weird or I just don't want to spend the time to do it. Also, I hate spending money on a food experiment and it goes terribly wrong. I need to figure something out. I need to get into a routine.

Anywho, I should probably get off the school computer and make headway towards home... the 3 hour commute home.

Triumph over glory?

I have a strong urge to watch Rock and Rule. I don't know what it is about that movie. It's shitty, but... I like listening to the sound track. If they actually released a sound track, maybe I wouldn't watch the movie so much? I don't know.

So, I went to see an actual English Undergraduate counselor this week and I was given pretty much the best news. I'm going to be out of here by, at most, next Autumn Quarter. I want to actually be out of here by summer if I could. Who knows? But yeah, I'm actually not going to be here for forever like I had thought. I just got to stick it out through 2009.

I can almost sense that I'm going to get a bad grade in Space class unless I'm showed at least some mercy. In fact, hopefully half of the class is given a break... a lot of people didn't do well on the last test. Also, the homework is incredibly frustrating and difficult. And this is a class that's in the 100 level... it is seriously the hardest class I'm in. My other classes though, I'm doing a stellar job. I'm about ready to be done with this quarter though... the amount of group work I've had to do is profound. Ugh.

I think the biggest worry I have at the moment is finding another job. I have been cut in both places that I work and am hardly making anything. The bakery I can understand, but the restaurant? Shit. You know what though? I think it's time I do find something better. Maybe a 24 hour grocery store or something. I can do that. I can work late evenings and such. I wonder if I can manage to snag a 38 hours per week job. At least I'll be making over 1000 a month if I had that. And I'd still be willing to work at the bakery on Saturday mornings. In fact, I'm going to fill out an application for Albertson's and once I get that job, I'm out of the restaurant. I really don't know why the Family Inn is still open. I really don't. It doesn't make any money except for in the bar. Why not just shut down the restaurant side? Hoi. That place sucks.

I can't wait to get out of minimum wage positions. I just want a job that pays okay. I'm fine with middle class. That's cool. I'm tired of being lower class though. I've had to live in it for so freaking long... I've had my phone shut down at my house for a full year. How do you do that nowadays? I'm just striving to not be what my parents are. I really don't think they're going to be going anywhere... they'll always be living paycheck to paycheck.

Anyways, I should probably get off this crazy thing.

Getting an extension is like pulling teeth

Hoi... so I just got back from the counselor's office to snag my 2nd pre-major extension (what? I didn't know what I was going to be doing) and of course the counselor gives me this long lecture about it and how she was hesitant to give it to me and I had to be ABSOLUTELY sure. I'm just kinda looking at her and I want to desperately say, "What's the big deal? The chumps at the university are getting their money! I believe whole heartedly that the UW as a whole could care less about what students do in the following years after they graduate."

I understand that I'm a transfer student, and the downside to this is that you're getting hyper penalized for going to a school prior to the university. I've literally been here for only 2 full quarters and am working on my third. Can you imagine how aggitating it is to enter a school only to be pushed right back towards the door. I was honestly about ready to cry right then and there. This is not making education after high school sound the least bit better. The lady looks at me and goes "You certainly have a lot of music courses." I just kind of look at her and go "Well, I wanted to be a music major, but it's competitive and I have to audition. I did that and your 'fabulous' music department said 'no.'" Ugh. I hate the University of Washington.

I wonder though... what would happen if I wasn't granted any more extensions? The counselor said most universities work this way. Would I be locked out forever? When does any of this stuff expire? What happens to people when they realize that they wouldn't be able to change career options? I don't know... in a way I feel like I have officially wasted my time to the point where it has jeopardized my opportunites.

I just don't know what I'm going to do. This small drop-in appointment has literally scared the shit out of me. I am so terrified of going to school because I know that there's this added pressure. For all of the money that the school recieves from tuition, what would it matter? They're getting their money. They should be happy that they're getting plenty of it to fund this shit hole.

The part that really stinks is that I'm having a break down at the moment... and I can't just go home. It takes three whole hours to get back home. Not to mention, I have to meet with a group to discuss a couple of things at 1:30 today... I've got five hours before I get home.

Ugh. I hate feeling this way.

My only game plan is to strive for 20 credits next quarter. Then I think I'll be finished soon enough. Well, I actually am not too positive on what I'm going to do. A part of me wants to drop school all together. A part of me wants to stay because I worry what people will think. While I was in Arkansas, I flat out told them that I was going to school to satisfy everybody. They looked at me and said, "You're just saying that. You're doing it for you." and I flat out told them, "No, I'm not. I'm only going because I'm pressured into going. If I don't do it, I feel like I'm going to be in big trouble with someone." They eventually gave in and said if it wasn't what I wanted to do, then I shouldn't be doing it. And I shouldn't be. It feels like I settled for UW, I settled for the English major, and I settled for the goal of becoming a teacher.

I hate school. I'm miserable. And if I end up teaching little bastards, I'm going to be even more miserable. You want to know what I want out of life? I want to be making 45,000 a year. That's it. That's more than enough. With an associates degree, I probably can already be put into a position where I can work up to that easily. I am happy right now. I have always been happy no matter how poor I have been. I am more than willing to work at the shipyard as an office worker.

I feel like I need to talk to somebody for advice about this. I want to talk to my mom, I want to talk to Donna, I want to talk to somebody who ISN'T a UW counselor.

I'm venting... tomorrow, I'll probably feel better. It's just that if I quit school... what if I want to go back again down the road? Do they pardon this kind of thing? It feels like I'm in cold sweats shakilly pointing a gun and can't make up my mind on what target to shoot.

Lookit who's been keeping up!

So, a man purposefully set himself on fire last Thursday in the middle of our school and died. That was pretty rad. Like, in a "what a way to go out!" sort of thing. I'm still not sure if they announced who he was or what the motive was. It was kind of interesting to go to school on Friday and see the scorch marks on the pavement. Weird.

I so anxiously want to move out and get my own place... the only problem is both Alex and I don't make enough money constantly (he has a sub job, I get tips waitressing and therefor it is not recorded as actual income) I almost want to just suck it up and get maybe a one bedroom instead of a two bedroom apartment. I don't know. I'm just finding myself not really wanting to go home and after Portland I feel like I'm ready. I know precisely what I can live with and what I can't stand.

And I totally want my own espresso machine that I can make coffee early in the morning along with breakfast. I dunno... I kind of want to make breakfast for Alex and myself on a regular basis... I hate spending money on food at school, so hopefully it will alleviate that.

Of course, I have all these plans to make breakfast and essentially "play house" (for lack of a better word) even though I know damn well that my ass will be hitting the snooze button constantly and get ready at the last minute. Maybe MAYBE, I will grab a pop-tart on the way out. Whatever... at least with my own place, I am free to have sex wherever and whenever I feel like it without worrying about bothering other people in the house. I also can have get togethers... and... PARTY LIGHT PARTIES. And all that other crap. I wonder what holidays would be like at my own place.

So many fantasies, but I need more planning. Plus, I intend to find a possible third job... and hopefully, it will be decent enough for me to quit my other two. Still kind of looking. What would be really great is if I had a stay at home job. Maybe for a billing agency? I noticed that there are a lot of "maybe's" in this post. I unfortunately think that it reflects my terrible indecisiveness and my fear of taking risks. Alex even suffers the same lament... so I think this is what's making all of this difficult. We're worried about debt, eviction, and we're worried about how well we can control ourselves from unnecessary spending. What I want is for him to find another job like I am so we have a stable income that we can present to a landlord. That school district is not going to hire him. The people of Port Orchard don't give two shits about education, so we have one failed levy after another. I want us to find better jobs.

Anywho... I should probably head back to Port Orchard. Let's see... it's what? 1 PM? I'll probably get back there at around 5 PM... 4 hours of commuting. What a pain in the ass.

Put off today what you can do... late at night?

Okay, so I pissed my Sunday away. Big deal? Well, I should have been defining things from my list of terms... which really only takes me an hour or two.

Whatever.. test isn't until Tuesday. Plus, I get them done tonight and all I have to worry about is the essay part of it. I have to make sure to at least keep half way decent grades in English and Japanese Literature... let's face it, my space class is going to destroy me. *shrugs*

Was Devo for Halloween. I'm pretty much the best. Not to mention I needed to find something to do with my energy dome.

What have you been doing all day that's been keeping you from doing important stuff?! Going to Silverdale... watching Mars Attacks, documentaries on gay parents and spontaneous combustion, and Alex playing Saints Row 2... and... sitting around? What I would really like to have is two days off. Which actually isn't too terribly difficult now that a shift of mine has been cut. Whatever. Damn. I need another job.

Man... I have another group assignment. That makes, what? Four now? What is with teachers and group assignments. Oh! I know! It makes it easier for a teacher to grade a group rather than individuals! Why didn't I think of that?! I sure am glad people have to pay teachers to work as little as possible!

I really hope the space class is graded on a curb. What with everyone doing a piss poor job on the test.

Have a research paper draft due this Thursday... midterm on Tuesday... anything else?

Whatever, I'll probably go see Zack and Mira's Porno tonight. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why can't you just do your homework and study with this freetime? Oh I know!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoDtzlsxNYQ

Advice to live by? I kind of apply this philosophy to people who overly stress about school and GPA. I make the most of my days off. My days off are for me, and me only. I only wish that in my days off... I wouldn't spend money.

I'm out.