Lookit who's been keeping up!

So, a man purposefully set himself on fire last Thursday in the middle of our school and died. That was pretty rad. Like, in a "what a way to go out!" sort of thing. I'm still not sure if they announced who he was or what the motive was. It was kind of interesting to go to school on Friday and see the scorch marks on the pavement. Weird.

I so anxiously want to move out and get my own place... the only problem is both Alex and I don't make enough money constantly (he has a sub job, I get tips waitressing and therefor it is not recorded as actual income) I almost want to just suck it up and get maybe a one bedroom instead of a two bedroom apartment. I don't know. I'm just finding myself not really wanting to go home and after Portland I feel like I'm ready. I know precisely what I can live with and what I can't stand.

And I totally want my own espresso machine that I can make coffee early in the morning along with breakfast. I dunno... I kind of want to make breakfast for Alex and myself on a regular basis... I hate spending money on food at school, so hopefully it will alleviate that.

Of course, I have all these plans to make breakfast and essentially "play house" (for lack of a better word) even though I know damn well that my ass will be hitting the snooze button constantly and get ready at the last minute. Maybe MAYBE, I will grab a pop-tart on the way out. Whatever... at least with my own place, I am free to have sex wherever and whenever I feel like it without worrying about bothering other people in the house. I also can have get togethers... and... PARTY LIGHT PARTIES. And all that other crap. I wonder what holidays would be like at my own place.

So many fantasies, but I need more planning. Plus, I intend to find a possible third job... and hopefully, it will be decent enough for me to quit my other two. Still kind of looking. What would be really great is if I had a stay at home job. Maybe for a billing agency? I noticed that there are a lot of "maybe's" in this post. I unfortunately think that it reflects my terrible indecisiveness and my fear of taking risks. Alex even suffers the same lament... so I think this is what's making all of this difficult. We're worried about debt, eviction, and we're worried about how well we can control ourselves from unnecessary spending. What I want is for him to find another job like I am so we have a stable income that we can present to a landlord. That school district is not going to hire him. The people of Port Orchard don't give two shits about education, so we have one failed levy after another. I want us to find better jobs.

Anywho... I should probably head back to Port Orchard. Let's see... it's what? 1 PM? I'll probably get back there at around 5 PM... 4 hours of commuting. What a pain in the ass.