Hoi... so I just got back from the counselor's office to snag my 2nd pre-major extension (what? I didn't know what I was going to be doing) and of course the counselor gives me this long lecture about it and how she was hesitant to give it to me and I had to be ABSOLUTELY sure. I'm just kinda looking at her and I want to desperately say, "What's the big deal? The chumps at the university are getting their money! I believe whole heartedly that the UW as a whole could care less about what students do in the following years after they graduate."
I understand that I'm a transfer student, and the downside to this is that you're getting hyper penalized for going to a school prior to the university. I've literally been here for only 2 full quarters and am working on my third. Can you imagine how aggitating it is to enter a school only to be pushed right back towards the door. I was honestly about ready to cry right then and there. This is not making education after high school sound the least bit better. The lady looks at me and goes "You certainly have a lot of music courses." I just kind of look at her and go "Well, I wanted to be a music major, but it's competitive and I have to audition. I did that and your 'fabulous' music department said 'no.'" Ugh. I hate the University of Washington.
I wonder though... what would happen if I wasn't granted any more extensions? The counselor said most universities work this way. Would I be locked out forever? When does any of this stuff expire? What happens to people when they realize that they wouldn't be able to change career options? I don't know... in a way I feel like I have officially wasted my time to the point where it has jeopardized my opportunites.
I just don't know what I'm going to do. This small drop-in appointment has literally scared the shit out of me. I am so terrified of going to school because I know that there's this added pressure. For all of the money that the school recieves from tuition, what would it matter? They're getting their money. They should be happy that they're getting plenty of it to fund this shit hole.
The part that really stinks is that I'm having a break down at the moment... and I can't just go home. It takes three whole hours to get back home. Not to mention, I have to meet with a group to discuss a couple of things at 1:30 today... I've got five hours before I get home.
Ugh. I hate feeling this way.
My only game plan is to strive for 20 credits next quarter. Then I think I'll be finished soon enough. Well, I actually am not too positive on what I'm going to do. A part of me wants to drop school all together. A part of me wants to stay because I worry what people will think. While I was in Arkansas, I flat out told them that I was going to school to satisfy everybody. They looked at me and said, "You're just saying that. You're doing it for you." and I flat out told them, "No, I'm not. I'm only going because I'm pressured into going. If I don't do it, I feel like I'm going to be in big trouble with someone." They eventually gave in and said if it wasn't what I wanted to do, then I shouldn't be doing it. And I shouldn't be. It feels like I settled for UW, I settled for the English major, and I settled for the goal of becoming a teacher.
I hate school. I'm miserable. And if I end up teaching little bastards, I'm going to be even more miserable. You want to know what I want out of life? I want to be making 45,000 a year. That's it. That's more than enough. With an associates degree, I probably can already be put into a position where I can work up to that easily. I am happy right now. I have always been happy no matter how poor I have been. I am more than willing to work at the shipyard as an office worker.
I feel like I need to talk to somebody for advice about this. I want to talk to my mom, I want to talk to Donna, I want to talk to somebody who ISN'T a UW counselor.
I'm venting... tomorrow, I'll probably feel better. It's just that if I quit school... what if I want to go back again down the road? Do they pardon this kind of thing? It feels like I'm in cold sweats shakilly pointing a gun and can't make up my mind on what target to shoot.
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2 comments:
I've never heard of getting a pre-major extention before. At OSU, they sure didn't care how long it took you to figure out what you wanted to do. They called it Exploration and I think all they asked was that you schedule something with your counselor each quarter when you were an Exploratory Student... So no, I highly doubt most universities actually do that. But, maybe that's why OSU is the largest school in the nation and the average grad time is 5 years...lol.
Anyway, I know how you feel about hating school. I really only went to college because it was expected of me. It was not honestly an option. I didn't think you needed to go to school to be a writer. But since I was there, I figured I would take Journalism. If I could do it over again, I would have taken my minor, Criminology, and made it my major. But it was too late by that point because I never explored, I applied to school as a pre-journalism major and got accepted into the major my sophomore year. I'm sure I hated school because I realized I hated Journalism and that it wasn't the same as being a writer, but I pushed through it and forced myself to graduate in 3 years.
I don't know if you give a hoot about my advice, but I'll offer some because I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about this.
As a former student and someone who has had to flounder a bit in the job market post-graduation, I implore you to get your bachelor's degree. I know it might be a hard and draining road, but I am telling you...90% of the office positions I saw (that's what I mostly looked at) required a bachelor's. Some of them had specific degrees, but most were just a BA/BS. That's the way things are turning out to be now.
With that said, I don't think you should stress yourself out about your major. You might find something you enjoy yet. I had no idea I'd be so into Criminology until I took a course just to fill in my schedule. I think your college life will be a little easier if you are enjoying what you are learning, but no matter what, I think you should go for it...
If I may be so bold, I think a big part of the frustration is the commute. It's an insane trip, and you're losing nearly a fourth of your day just going from one place and then back home. We'll look into the Fauntleroy ferry and see if that can't lighten the load a little, and if not, then we might be able to get a place in Bremerton, or even some suburb away from Seattle where it wouldn't be as easy to get there with public transportation, but the drive wouldn't be 2 hours long.
I have to agree with A on this one, get your BA in whatever the fuck and then just take a sitback and figure out what you want to do with it while you're slowly turning into the guys from Office Space.
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